I had such a strange day today. Last night I was so exhausted that I fell asleep at around 8pm, which never ever happens for me. Then I woke up and thought it must be 3am, because it’s always 3 am, but when I looked at the time it was 11pm. Total confusion. So I wrote a blog and fell asleep again. When I woke up it was a glorious sunny day, perfect for blowing bubbles before breakfast, which I did, and then I prepared for work. Work became an uphill battle because I just couldn’t maintain a signal and struggled all day to connect. So frustrating!
On the surface the day was pretty good I suppose. Said bubbles were blown, I watched a huge pod of dolphins swimming in the bay from my tent office, I walked on the beach at low tide and again at high tide. Cows wandered in and out of my office all day long. I was visited by dogs, cats and a frog. At one point I was so frustrated with the No Service signal situation that I jumped into my car and went to book a hike to the Hole in the Wall, at the Coffee Shack down the road. But no, there are no hikes scheduled for this week. I went across the road to Lazarus who sells stoneground coffee and offers a free spliff with every cup. Sometimes I really wish I was a stoner because it would be a little bit cool to drink coffee and smoke doobie at a coffee shack on the river. But no spliffs were had. I considered their edible muffin option, but the roads here are so bad and the cliffs are so high… me being so high as well would be a recipe for disaster. Lazarus did offer to see about organising a hike for me, so I’m holding thumbs about that.
I bought some Xhosa bread, for my planned supper of spaghetti and red pepper pesto, which all spluttered to a halt when my gas ran out midway through cooking over a mini flame cooker. I have a spare cannister, but it turned out to be the wrong kind, so I popped next door to my neighbours for help. Jaco lent me their mini cooker and I managed to finish cooking. It was delicious. Then I wanted some coffee. I went to Roy to organise a braai drum and charcoal and hours later I had my coffee. I just don’t understand myself right now. I’ve decided not to drink until I get to Jozi, for no real reason. I’ve been having maybe one beer and one glass of wine each evening, so why I’ve made this stupid decision I just don’t know! Because, instead of missioning with a fire to boil water for coffee, I could have just poured myself a glass of wine. What is going on with me?
You can see now, it was a mixed bag of good, frustrating, amusing, fun and confusing all day long. I didn’t feel happy today at all. And here I am in paradise. Just goes to show, that wherever you go, there you are. I think I was hoping that by now some wisdoms would be making themselves known and the reason for my trip would be clear to me. Not at all. What I have come to realise is how much I bounce my thoughts and struggles off my friends and they offer such amazing insights which allow me to explore even further. But being on the road alone I’m stuck with my own thought processes and it’s frustrating me. I feel so very stuck. Not that I’m having too many thoughts. This is becoming the great emptying of a busy chaotic mind. I’m also irritated by light and sound. Perhaps it’s the contrast between the darkness and absolute quiet of the Karoo and this busy, noisy energy of the Wild Coast. I’m just not sure.
Also, is the moon broken? Because it’s full again. What’s going on? I’m so confused. Maybe it’s a Coffee Bay contact high?