Being Fine and Quirky in the Friendly Urban Forest

I know I asked for people adventures but I honestly didn’t expect what happened in Jozi, and it’s definitely a cautionary tale to be careful what you ask for. But every adventure is food for contemplation and an opportunity to grow.

I’ve been wondering how to blog about what happened between my friend and I, whether or not to share the events that lead to the ending of a decade-long friendship, but I’ve decided not to focus on that here. I know that my true friends see me as complex and imperfect and flat out crazy, but I also have a caring and generous spirit, and I know that they see that in me too. I know that they accept me for who I am, and that is a wonderful gift in this mad and intolerant world. Not everyone is willing or able to give that gift though. A valuable lesson that I’ve learned through this drift so far is the power of the Ho’oponopono prayer and its message to show up for my inner child, and to make sure that she knows that she is loved and supported, protected and appreciated, accepted and safe in all of her vulnerability. To make sure that she knows that I will never abandon her, no matter how much I am bullied to do so. I did leave it a bit long to show up for her though, so that’s something I’m going to seriously be looking at from now on.

After the drama I moved to stay with a fun and caring friend who calls me quirky. I guess I am a bit. Of course, we know what people mean when they call you “quirky”. It’s the code word they use when they phone the men with the white coats. If she did make that call though those men would get a two for one special. She’s “quirky” too. In the best way. She made me so many cups of tea that I think China ran out after day three, and I got to share energy with three new cats and one tiny kitten, which is my idea of heaven. She also spoiled me with a lunch at the Riversands Village Market and we huffed and puffed our unfit selves around the dam. It was so refreshing to experience nature in JHB at last and to know that there are these hidden gems scattered all over the city, especially considering that JHB has the largest man-made urban forest in the world (more than 10 million trees!). And you know how much I love forests. I also got to see and take pics of real ducks swimming in real water and making real quacking sounds, instead of silent, fake birds perched on fake buildings in Monte Casino.

The people in Jozi are so friendly and have such great energy. Have I said that before? A few times now? It’s only because I’ve had so many great encounters with human people. I went to Fourways Mall and obviously I wasn’t hiding my shell-shocked, “been in nature for a month” face very well, or at all really. There were so many people and so many cars and tons and tons of concrete, above and below and all around. It was overwhelming. I was so lost. Inside and out. And then, I got into a crowded lift. So many, many people. I notice nowadays everyone asks “How are you?” when we greet each other. And everyone greets each other. This is not a Cape Town tradition. I like this “everywhere but Cape Town” tradition, but I’m thinking of extending it to include how I’m really feeling. Sometimes “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?” is not my authentic truth. Fortunately, one woman in the lift saw through my “I’m fine, thank you” and took me under her wing. She asked where I was going and then she, and her posse of friendly friends, walked me all the way to my convenient online shopping pickup point, before wishing me a lovely day, with the sunniest of smiles. Sometimes I honestly think I’ve died and am living in a really cool purgatory waiting place, where everyone likes everyone, and there’s not a politician in sight trying to convince me otherwise. I think my cynicism and view of people is not connected to reality. Maybe… I’m thinking, maybe I spend too much time doom-scrolling in my tent, deep in nature after the beautiful sunsets, instead of having more uplifting people adventures.

Although… never try to get two random people in JHB to sign as witness on a document. I updated a legal document and needed two such signatures, but every person I asked said the same thing. They’d had a bad experience before when they’d signed as a witness. They weren’t prepared to go through all of that again. I politely pretended to believe each and every one of them, but what I was hearing was that the world is a scary place and nobody is to be trusted. So much for my resting trustworthy face. I think it would be a great challenge if The Amazing Race came to South Africa again. The contestants would have to try to get two people to sign as witness on a document on the East Rand, then drive to Sandton without damaging their car wheel rim in a pothole, and without paying a bribe to a cop. In Rivonia, they would have to stop at 16:40 at a robot (first they’ll have to figure out that a robot is actually a traffic light that doesn’t work) and help a homeless guy to direct the traffic, until it starts to rain at 16:45. This challenge could be set for any day in summer. If they can get a taxi to let them into the traffic at peak hour, the contestants can skip the rest of the challenge and go straight to the finish line. Of course, they’ll still be stuck in the traffic forever, but theoretically they’ll be finished.

I’ve enjoyed my time in JHB. It’s been a treat to catch up with all of my old Jozi friends and meander down memory lane with them. We have to do it now while we still can, before our minds become as potholed and porous as the SA roads, and witty strangers start painting “ANC” onto our synapses. Oh and… I finally found some tent sealant and sealed my tent, so I’m ready now for any big rains. Moving on is going to be hard though. I’m so comfortable and feel so welcome in this homey brick tent. But it’s true this time, I really am fine, thank you.