I wanted to write a separate blog about my Wolf Sanctuary experience because it represents a profound and timely message that this journey of mine is necessary, because of who I intrinsically am, and that I am supported in it, in so many ways.
The wolf is my power animal and has made herself known in very obvious ways, during my illness last year and my recovery since. She has in fact been with me my whole life. If the wolf represents a wish to break free then I am wolf. Even as a little child I would find ways to escape from my parents and experience being untethered. I was 6 years old when I told my Mom that I would get a lift home from school with my friend’s mom on this one particular day, so that I could experience the challenge and freedom of walking the 5km from school to my home. It was madness. The route took me across a busy freeway. I was terrified. But for some reason I had to do it. And I did. And my parents never knew.
When I was 10 years old we moved into a house on the edge of the countryside. On the day we moved in I’d had a fall on the school playground and hit my head and was very sick that night with a concussion. On that same night, a huge storm blew in and I had such an intuition that we were in danger. I felt so sure that the gale force winds were going to blow one of the gum trees growing next door onto our house. But through the noise of the wind that night, all night long, I heard the howling of a wolf. Because of my concussion though I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. We were protected that night, and every night after, but shortly after we moved out one of the trees did fall onto the house and cut the house in two. Exactly where my bedroom had been. Years later, when I told my Mom about my experience, she shared that she had heard the wolf howling as well, and so I know that what I had heard was real.
During my illness last year I could barely do anything, I was so weak. I started doing a wolf jigsaw puzzle with 1500 pieces as a kind of meditation. It calmed my emotions of frustration. It took me months to finish, but I would sit every day and slowly put the pieces together, until eventually the image of the wolf emerged. I was still very ill at that stage and unable to get on with my life, but a day came as I was finishing my puzzle when I decided that I was going to set off on my roadtrip, whether I was ill or not. I decided that I was no longer going to be held hostage. And within weeks my health turned around and I reached a point where it was viable to hit the road. Was it the wolf energy? I don’t know. But the wolf is my totem animal and I embrace the power of her spirit.
It’s no surprise then that I found myself in the Plettenberg Bay area and stumbled upon the Wolf Sanctuary. While it was difficult to see the traumatised wolves, it was special to have the opportunity to exchange energy with them. I’m going to create a short video to share with you, so please look out for that on the site in the coming week. For those of you who have subscribed I’ll send a notification link as soon as it’s posted.
Huge shifts are happening. I started this journey in a dark and uncertain space but with each day I’m realising that the story I have in my head is not the reality of my life. Like the wolf spirit I am free and my intuition is growing stronger every day. I am seeking that balance between running free and being present and loyal and protective towards my pack. I have a pack. I belong and I’m not alone. This is my journey. I’m embracing it with joy and from an empowered place now.